i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Life is so much better after having sex.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
