ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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