In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
