wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
