So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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