Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
