btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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