I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
