i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
