I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
