Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
