Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize