She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
