So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
