omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's shark week go big or go home
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
last night I used snow as a chaser
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
