Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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