Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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