Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
