HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
