i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
