I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
