Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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