Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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