Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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