What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
