I wish i was in the wii world.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
