It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
