thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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