not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
