I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
