Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
