I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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