Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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