were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize