new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
