She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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