He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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