i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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