We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
