You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
