My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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