Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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