It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
