she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
