You can't motorboat a personality
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
