in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
