i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
