There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
