We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
