no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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