I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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