my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
