I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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