It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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