my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
