She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
