apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
