Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
