oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
