You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
two words...techno handjob
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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