I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
