I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
