If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
