I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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