I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize