It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize