She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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