I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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