I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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